Just when I'm getting more confident with my own level of artistry, I get given a ridiculous project that only serves to knock me down, leaving me feeling completely crushed.
'Find a master's painting, one that inspires you and then paint it.' I had seen the second years doing theirs over the past week or so and thought how good they looked, encouraged by the fact that I had one year until I had to do it; enough time to get at least a bit better with painting.
When he told us that we'd have this week (and only a week) to do this, it was one of those 'life before eyes' things- blood went to my head and I zoned out. How could he do this? To first years?! Sure, there are several among us who are talented, exceptionally so, but me? No, god no.
So, going from a years time to present was a pretty shit move. I'm sure 'it's fine' and he's not expecting DaVinci's reincarnation, that it's just to help you understand blah, blah etc.
Yeah, ok, I understand that and I beleive in it. Was it his intention to make me feel completely inadequate as an artist? Perspective?
'Copy a master.' - as if it's so fucking easy. Just copy him, noob!
That's what I wanted to do. Why? Because it's an inspirational piece of art. Ambitious? Waaaaay too much. What else could I chose? He tells us to copy a master, that's a master. Someone that inspires you. Titian inspires me. They wouldn't be a master if they wern't incredible painters. The only master artists that inspire me are ones generally from the renaissance. Which used Oils and I only have Acrylics. (Can't use oils due to accomadation damage and the cost/lack of knowledge)
I don;t really know the point of this post is, if only for me to vent some frustration. Deadline is tommorrow and I have something I've been working on for hours only to keep painting over areas to redo them over and over and over again. I make a mistake, whoops, looks like that's 2 hours down the drain. Oh well, best pick up the ol' brush and do it AGAIN. Because you don't learn as much from digital as you do from traditional so I can't just undo or revert to save to not waste another 2 hours only for it to fuck up again.. I understand this, it makes sense, I agree etc. I want to be a better traditional artist.
So, looks like just as I have gotten on schedule I'm now behind again because of this retarded project. Just cus I'm in uni doesn't mean I'm the bees fucking knees at art. WOULDN'T BE HERE OTHERWISE! Amazing that?
Even though I stated earlier that he's not expecting a masterpiece there's just no way I could put a wank piece of art into my presentation - which is what this is heading to. My presentation is meant to show what I can do, not what I can't.
A year til I had to do this project was sound, I looked forward to it, because I HAD a year to get better... So, do I continue attempting this? Or do I lie and say a worse artist with easier marks to mimic inspires me, just so I pass?
Drop out or sell out?
Thanks for this hole in the head.